Wednesday, 4 January 2012

The Up Rooted Paladin

... It happened rather fast. I was in the 'Banal Bore' Tavern many miles away from that arachnid infested; "Nicodemus Castle" drinking a wee-bit-O'-ale with my new compatriots.

...... Then . the .. ceiling ... was .
                                             . the .. floor ... and . I . was .. there ... no .
                                                                                                          ...... MORE!

   Hands raise above my head, like a cleric at his hundredth mass, I Appeared . in .. a ... puff ... of .. Purple .
                                        SMOKE:     I do not JOKE!
or did I fall out of the sky ... this planer shift/realms rift is muddling memories.}

  I was strange, the place was odd, and the men I met were of that queer, stealthy persuasion.  At first I trust them not, but, slowly I came to find them amicable fellows; with stout hearts and clean souls.  There was 'Sliper' a most resourceful Expert Locksmith & Listener, the Ever Clever "Gaunilo Mountebank", Oh? and a hedgemage Eva Gorassospiri.  I was told of their need, queer indeed; a Silver COD Piece of some weird and wondrous value or power.

  We traveled a ways through the forest glen to a sea of sun-baked sand dunes.  Upon the dune tops, I spied; a glittering from a tower? ...or something shining in the distance caught my eye.  Finally, as the party got close to our destination, some of the gentlemen had the forethought to scout ahead; a ruined or grounded ship of some sort was discovered!  Leaving the sand dunes behind for beach, I proceeded to empty my Armour of sand.  The nimble men climbed aboard the metal decks of a humongous Domed-battle-Barge. Up a ramp of broken, sand covered wooden planks I trod, when the barge deck was found to be eerily deserted.  Delving into the massive dome through strange brassy double doors we walked a short metal hall to a large chamber with curving walls and a central spiral stairs of metallic construction.

 Through yet more brass doors, we met the GHOULEIBERMEN; skeletal, invisibly skinned, philosophical fanatics with a gruesome appetite for consuming human flesh.  These menacing monsters swung well balanced axes & swords of ancient designs, while; uttering evil nonsense with their vile invisible tongues.
Immediately, I recognizing them as spawns of hell!
                            Upon them we fell, slaying without mercy!
                                    A clean death was more than such fiends deserved.

  In a hall like chamber of plush black, gold & silver carpets we fought an undulating gray masses of large swarming arthropods.  We Oil bombed, tossed Torches killing a dozen score and twenty, monstrous munching beetles, but, they kept coming.  Pouring oil on the carpet in front of us, as a trap; we waited for the approaching chittering swarm.  When they crossed onto the oil a touch of a torch killed them with flaming smoky death!  I stomped the life out of the remaining beetles under the heels of my steel armoured boots. 

  We fought more of the Ghoulish Skeleton men and saw more chambers with curving metal walls and spiral staircases, even went through an abandoned torture chamber and a laundry room with many piles of discarded clothes. ( belonging to the victims of the Ghouleibers, I fear. )

  Our final battle was with many of the Ghouleibermen kind, and their giant-kin master; who weilded 'Teminaxe' a mighty magical battle-axe.  I entered single combat with the giant-kin Ghouleiber and fought valiantly, whilst my companions though it wise to shoot arrows at him ... and me!

  I took an arrow in the side, luckily only slightly more than a flesh wound with no major hindrance to my combat prowess.  With a awesome cleave of my great sword I finally sundered the evil-thing from shoulder to groined.